What do your thoughts and self-talk reveal?
This is probably the Yoda quotation I repeat most often – Do or do not, there is no try.
This words are spoken to Luke Skywalker course in Stars Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Luke is in a hurry on Dagobah with Yoda to learn the way of the Force.
If you look at the baby turtle hatching from its egg along the shoreline, it makes its ways to the sea that is has never seen before without a backwards glance. It doesn’t wonder whether it will success or fail. It doesn’t questions whether it is talented enough, or worthy. It simply does it.
Human beings on the other hand are brought up with the fears and restrictions, the aspirations and ambitions of their parents, culture and friends. From a young age children learn to compare themselves with others, and one way or another they begin to develop an idea of their worth, their talents, and their destiny.
Whether aware of these influences or not, they act upon our personal belief system.
Belief informs intention. Intention is key. Whatever you set out to do in life whether it is doing well in exams, enjoying a party, giving a a good interview – your intention, and is key!
I wonder how many times you have found yourself saying “I am going to try”, “I tried”, “I am trying”. “Try as I might”.
It’s a funny thing to say, but I will say it anyway. You should be careful about what you say to yourself, because there is always somebody listening. That somebody is you. Or rather it is the unconscious/subconscious part of you that hears what you say. It is as true for you as it is for anyone else that “what the thinker thinks, the prover proves”.
When you say the word “try” or use it in a sentence such as “I am going to try”, you automatically admit into your plans the possibility of failure or of defeat. Just think about this.
Rarely do we say “I am going to succeed in this plan”. It is as though somewhere in our minds there is the idea that to express victory is to be a bad sport, to expect to succeed is to be a show-off, whilst to revel in yourself in akin to being a Bond villain. And yet it is true, that what you say, and especially what you say to yourself, often reveals the direction your mind is taking you.
It is these things that you say to yourself and to your therapist that can reveal the structure of your internal belief system. An NLP practitioner (look no further that yours truly) is trained to notice those things that you say to yourself without noticing.
And so, if you find yourself, not enjoying success in life – whatever success is you – is it because you are “trying”?
Another phrase you will hear me use: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. So something had to change”. This is no glib truism. What needs to change are you thoughts and beliefs. When you change your thoughts and beliefs you also change your behaviour, but strangely enough it is also true that if you change your behaviour you can also change your thoughts.
Being committed and dedicated to a plan is the first step to success. If you find your self-talk is getting in your way give me a call.
May the Force be with you.
Gavin Bowtell is a hypnotherapist. He works on line and face2face. His force powers include hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and BWRT®. WSN – Warriors, Settlers, and Nomads – can help you control your inner Sith and release the resources of your inner Jedi.
