It was during “The Attack of the Clones” that Yoda spoke these words: Around the survivors a Perimeter Create.
What is their application to therapy you might ask? YOU are a survivor! This is a self evident fact. If it were not so, if you had given up the battle against the Dark Side of your thoughts you wouldn’t be here. But survivors are vulnerable, and that is why Master Yoda orders the creation of the perimeter.
A perimeter is a boundary. Emotional and mental boundaries are essential to your confidence, your self-worth – essential to your mental well-being. Quite often the erosion of a person’s boundaries begins before they are aware that they even need them, which makes it really very hard to create them all by yourself later on. I have seen this very often, parents telling their child – “Give your aunty Brenda a kiss, go on”, or “Be and good girl, and give your aunty Brenda a kiss”. Even worse is when the child refuses, pulls away and is told “don’t be naughty, give your aunty Brenda a kiss”, and aunty Brenda looks disappointed or hurt. Here the child can learn two things:
1) that boundaries are naughty, and 2) that boundaries hurt and disappoint others.
Just imagine for a moment, what the absence of control over your own body might have led you into?
Healthy Boundaries a Healthy Mind Create.
By having boundaries, you know what you will tolerate from others. Boundaries tell you and other people what is acceptable to you. And they give you a place to start from, a place to build relationships. Good boundaries are way of determining who respects you and who does not.
When you have boundaries that you can defend, you can begin to grow in confidence and self-esteem because you are defending before others what matters to you.
You are your own Yoda. Around yourself you need to create a healthy perimeter. But whether you are a Padawan, Jedi, or PE teacher the steps to building the boundaries that create self-esteem and confidence are not always clear.
That is where I come in.
May the Force be with You!
Gavin Bowtell is a hypnotherapist. He works on line and face2face. His force powers include hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and BWRT®. WSN – Warriors, Settlers, and Nomads – can help you control your inner Sith and release the resources of your inner Jedi.
